Course Work- Narration

I plan to add a narration talking about cerebral palsy  and when Jess was diagnosed with it. Here is a rough version of the narration: 

Jess,24, suffers from cerebral palsy. She was diagnosed at the age of???. Cerebral palsy is a group of lifelong conditions that affect a person’s movement and co-ordination. It is caused by a problem with the brain that occurs before, during or shortly after birth. Symptoms can include problems such as stiff or weak muscles. Jess’s condition has previously made her life difficult and painful. However, just over a year ago, someone came into her life, changing it in so many ways.

After showing Jess the narration, I made changes to it.

Jess has cerebral palsy. She was diagnosed with it at 18 months. Cerebral palsy is a group of lifelong conditions that affect a person’s movement and co-ordination. It is caused by a problem with the brain that occurs around birth. Symptoms can include stiff or weak muscles. Jess’s condition has made her life difficult and painful. 

Recently, Jess has made the decision to move into a new home. With the help of queenie, she will be able to live independently and without the support of others for the first time. 

And as Jess has said ... ‘Who knew that muddy paw prints and tyre tracks could be so good for the soul’